Requiems for love

Because some songs bear the weight of memories…

BlackBird | Nina Simone

“This is apt,” I say, increasing the volume and pausing so he can listen. “It’s the perfect soundtrack for this moment.”

“Change the song. You think this is a movie?”

I don’t tell him that it’s too late. That regardless of our choices, this is how I’ll remember him. Us. A bird with a broken wing, longing for flight but unable to take off.

Youth | Daughter

“Rayo, I know you. You wanted a reason to leave.”

I don’t argue with her. No one’s warmth has ever kept me from starting to crave ‘alone’ after 6 months. “I didn’t expect him to give me no reasons to stay.”

I hold on to the anger at his reckless dick because it is easier than saying, “You make me want to swallow my tongue and fold into my soul for comfort. I know if I stay much longer I will kill myself.”

Stay | Rihanna

I have a compulsion to win and I can’t accept that failing at something doesn’t make me a failure. So, I make myself stay. But love is not a race, and four years is a long time to pay for a mistake.

Who Knew | P!nk

At any point, one of us has doubts. And it’s a dance. He leaves; I fight to put us back together. I leave; he pulls me back to him. Yet we tell each other it’s forever. Made of something real. Not just firsts but lasts, forever.

How did we think our teenage selves so wise and steady when thirty is drawing near and we still haven’t figured out love or life?


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